I Am Enough: Redefining Success Beyond Society’s Standards

Reading time: 2.30 minutes

Written by: Annmarie Borosic

I was scrolling through Instagram yesterday. I saw a video posted by a woman who is younger than me - 36. Left a toxic relationship that was no longer good for her. She’s never been married. Never had any children. Just moved to another country on her own, not knowing anyone and feeling more empowered than ever.

Watching her video was like watching my own story unfold. I felt inspired, motivated, and uplifted. My usual, “damn right you did!” phrase flew out of my mouth. In that moment, her triumph felt like mine.

But then came the comments. Hurtful, judgmental remarks. They weren’t directed at me, but they felt as if they were. Comments about how her “life choices are embarrassing”. “She should be ashamed being that age, never married, childless.” “A waste of her ancestry that fought to the death to be here and then her bloodline dies with her. How could she promote such a lifestyle for other women?” They went on. I cried that night. I felt defeated, and for a moment felt like it was my fault I was in this position.

Life pushes many women toward independence, to navigate solo adventures, and to make bold moves—like relocating without family. I look at myself. The things I have experienced in my life. Looking at my own journey, I never imagined being 38, single, and grappling with the possibility of never having children. I shift my focus very quickly because it’s not a rabbit hole I want to go down. Rather, I focus on the things I can control. The joys and blessings I’ve created in my life. It isn’t easy. It took a lot of effort and work to be able to turn off the intrusive, negative thoughts and shift focus. It has been one of the most powerful assets in my personal arsenal.

I grew up believing in the same script most women are handed: get a job, get married, have kids, et voilà— happiness activated. So what happens when it doesn’t work out quite like that? Am I meant to sit at home, throw a pity party and hope that one day a knight in shining armour to deem me “worthy” of being saved comes along and saves me? Give me a break. I learned a valuable lesson a few years ago. No one is coming to save me. If I want a life of freedom and fulfillment, I need to create it myself. Yes, I still dream of marriage and children, but if it doesn’t happen, I’ll keep chasing what fills me with joy: travelling, spending my days making new friends, being with family, creating memories, doing work I love, and counting my blessings because I have become the person that I’ve always longed for. I am enough. I am strong enough to do the things that bring me pure joy. I am enough as I am.  I didn’t know it back then, but I sure do now. If there is a life that I long for, it’s mine to go and take.