Liberating Myself: How I Got the Guts to Start Travelling Alone
4 Minutes
Written by: Annmarie Borosic
I’m fairly certain I never set out with the intention of being a solo traveller. It kind of just happened. I was 24 years old when I dove in and moved to Paris, France for four months. I didn’t know anyone there, but it didn’t matter. I wanted to leave Canada.
I don’t think anyone was more shocked than me when I decided to leave. Travelling, for me, was always a no-brainer. Moving abroad – alone, though? Yeah ok. I would have probably passed out at the thought years before that.
I’ve probably told this story a million times now, but I was terrified of being alone when I was younger. So much so, that I used to have my younger sister walk me to the bus stop for school. I don’t know what I was afraid of. Maybe being judged, or criticized. Who knows. I used to think I was a pretty confident teen with that ‘I don’t care what you think of me’ attitude. In hindsight, that was probably far from reality.
I still think about how I ended up finding the courage to leave my comfort zone. The quicker version is that I just didn’t give myself a choice. Typically, when an idea pops into my head, I run with it. I mean, I’m all about spontaneity, but let’s be honest; I’m a planner through and through so when I get an idea, I live for the research and preparation aspect of the trip as well.
The longer version of how I found the mental strength? Initially, my best friend (at the time) and I had planned to move to Australia for one year. We spent time mapping out cities and excursions to take. When the time came to book the flights she changed her mind and backed out entirely. I was already so unhappy with everything in my life at that time. My environment, the people around me, my failed career (yay market crash of ’08), and the devastation of feeling completely lost. I refused to give up on the idea of leaving because my friend changed her mind.
Even though it felt like yet another setback, I looked at it as a way to learn something new; either from the situation as a whole or allowing me to focus more on what mattered to me. I studied French throughout high school with the goal of becoming fluent one day. So, it was finally time to make that happen. I took out a line of credit, got a working holiday visa, enrolled in French classes and booked my four-month stay in Paris.
I didn’t give myself time to freak out throughout the planning process. I was and am still very much of the mindset, that if you want something, don’t give yourself a choice to back out, no matter how scary it may seem. Everything was booked and planned for about six months before I left. That gave me a few months to mentally prepare to be alone.
I started small by heading over to Starbucks, sitting on their patio, sipping coffee; people watching, or journaling. I would always have a book or notebook with me as a comfort blanket so to speak. Then I worked towards the next goal – going for lunch alone at a restaurant. I found that by starting with a casual restaurant during business lunch hours where people were dining alone it wouldn’t feel as awkward. These exercises helped train me to be comfortable alone.
The day that I was leaving for Paris is still one of the most memorable moments of my life. I had 18 of my family and friends come to the airport to say goodbye. We had lunch together and then they walked me to the gate.
Even though it’s been over a decade since that day, I can truly say that walking through security and waving goodbye was the most freeing and exhilarating moment, that quite literally changed the trajectory of my life.
